“Moms Don’t Have Time To Have Kids” by Zibby Owens

You’re a busy mom. Sometimes it feels like there’s just too much to juggle. Author and podcaster Zibby Owens can relate. That’s why she has compiled an anthology of short essays written by notable authors who share their parenting experiences, insights and advice.

What does the title, “Moms Don’t Have Time To Have Kids,” mean?

It means that moms are so overwhelmed and busy that it’s almost like they don’t even have time to have the kids they have. It means that there are so many demands on motherhood in today’s modern world that just being a mom itself, there’s no time for that.

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What if we can’t change our extreme “busy-ness” and the general exhaustion that comes with it? What’s the antidote?

The antidote is connection and sharing stories and knowing that we’re not alone in this. And I think my anthology is a means to that end. I think that we have to make time for some of the things that make life worth living even in the midst of the craziness because without that, what are we even doing? We can’t necessarily change the structure of it, but we can maintain a sense of humor; we can connect, share and get through it together.

What are some things that your authors say and that you agree we should make time for? And why are they important?

Self-care is too often bandied about, but it’s important. We have to maintain our energy to be moms.  It’s not optional to do things like take care of your health and yet going to the doctor feels like it takes a lot of time away from your job or your kids. Life is short, and it’s going to get shorter if you don’t take care of yourself. Sleep is important and exercise and healthy eating. Connection, seeing friends, the power of expressing your emotions and all of that is very worth spending time on.

Do you think that we don’t take the time because we think, ‘There’s no way with my busy schedule that I have time for any of that. Those are luxuries.’

I think people feel guilty taking the time. Everybody has the same amount of time every day. We all get 24 hours… It’s the blank page for us all and we get a new one every day. So how do we fill it? We often make time for the things we want to do without even thinking about it. I think the challenge is to take some of the things we know are good for us and make them something that we take ownership of and that we don’t feel guilty about.

I noticed that the essays you included are short. Did you do that because you know that moms don’t have a lot of time, so this is something they can pick up and read quickly. And what do you hope they’ll take away?

I wanted it to be something that anyone could read for a quick dose of therapy, something that’ll make you feel better, take you out of your own head, put you in someone else’s shoes. The power of empathy, relating and learning about someone else’s lived experience is so essential to being a good literary citizen and a good citizen in general. I think this is one of the most time-efficient ways to reset.

Originally Published in March 2022 | photos courtesy of Zibby Owens